Twas the night before Christmas when all through the basement,
Not a creature was stirring, nor making a statement.
The stockings were hung by the piano with joy,
In hopes that ol’ Santy Claus soon would bring toys.
The children were nestled all snug in their sleeping bags,
While visions of Buddy the Elf eating syrup spaghetti made them all gag.
And the girls in their red nightrobes and the parents in theirs of blue,
Had just settled their brains for a short Christmas snooze.
When out on the lawn there arose a cry from the pups,
I sprang from the bag to see what was up.
Away to the window I flew for a find,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the blinds.
The moon on the crest of the new fallen sleet,
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects underneath.
When what appeared to my wondering eyes of sequences,
But a ginormous sleigh and 57 flying penguins.
With a sprightly young driver: a lively and quick-witted son,
I knew in a moment: it must be Matt Thiessen!
More rapid than reindeer his penguins flew along,
He told a joke, strummed his guitar, and was singing this song:
“Now! Matt Hoopes, now! John Warne, now! Jon Schneck and Ethan,
On! Dave Douglas, on! Brian Pittman, on! Relient K and the rest of you penguins:
To the top of the garage! To the top of the house!
Now dash away! Dash away! We don’t have to be quiet as a mouse!”
As dry leaves before the wild candy canes swirl,
When they met with an obstacle the sleigh did a twirl.
So up to the house-top the penguins made a land,
With the sleigh full of gifts and Thiessen with his piano so grand.
And then in a twinkling I heard through the chimney covered in soot,
The prancing and pawing of each little penguin foot.
As I walked up the stairs and turned to the right,
Down the chimney Thiessen came and gave me a high five.
He was decked in Christmas attire from his hat to his galoshes,
And his clothes were not tarnished with soot nor with ashes.
A bundle of gifts was flung over his arm,
And he look’d so merry just air-guitar rocking along.
His eyes: how they twinkled! His smile: how jolly,
His cheeks were like roses, he said, “Fa-La-La-La-La-ly!”
His red Santa hat matched his plaid winter clothes,
And his black winter boots were all covered with snow.
He spun around to our tree and placed five gifts underneath,
And he said that he liked our new Christmas wreath.
He gave me a ski vest and a snow globe so dandy,
I shook it and he laugh’d, then he ate a red striped candy.
He made paper snowflakes as good as Buddy the Elf,
And I laugh’d when I saw him then made some myself.
With a wink of his eye and a jerk of his head,
He gave a loud shout that woke everyone in bed.
The penguins came scurrying down the steep chimney walls,
And Thiessen was there to break 57 falls.
The penguins with musical instruments were striking a pose, And all in the house from their sleeping bags arose.
Five guitarists, two drummers, and myself at the piano,
The awakened came to join us in a few Christmas carols.
But I heard Thiessen exclaim before we broke out in tune —
“Merry Christmas to all, and may all go out and buy our Christmas record soon!”
Originally written December 23, 2008 (minor adjustments made)