Back to the General Store in Marilla, NY. I was standing near the counter…and looking at the candy. Not because I needed any. Not because I wanted any. I was waiting on my mother…to finish deciding which general items to buy from the general store. She had been doing that for over an hour. Browsing the names of the candy, my eyes fell on the words “Sponge Candy.” The package of eight small chocolate bars. Selling for…$7.75. Sponge candy did not sound tastefully appealing to me. But. Being an extremely curious person, I wanted to know what it was. But. Not being an extremely forward person, I asked my dad to ask the lady behind the counter about it. So he did.
The two ladies began describing it to us. But they realized. That sometimes. Words…just aren’t enough. So. They decided…to open up a bag…of sponge candy. And offer us some. “Would you eat it with a friend? Would you eat it ‘til no end?” Offer…as in, insist that we take it. “Would you eat it in a store? Eat it now; don’t bolt for the door!” As in…you have no choice but to take it. “Would you eat a little bite? Please don’t put up such a fight!” My dad declined which inclined the ladies to come out from behind the counter. And shove it down our throats. “Eat this or I’ll punch your eye! Eat this now, you must comply!” So. I took it. I mean. What else could I do?
Feeling a bit leery of the sponge candy, I cautiously bit into it, while bits of it were falling to the…floor. How would I describe it? Crunchy. Crumbly. Chocolate-y. And. Extremely sweet. Too sweet, actually. And the inside literally looked like…a sponge. Thus, revealing to me…the meaning of the name. Which was all I had wanted to know in the first place. If the ladies would have just told me that it’s called sponge candy because it looks like a sponge on the inside…I would have been satisfied! Thus, I was satisfied with the name, but not the taste. I ate two pieces. The first was better than the second. The second produced a headache. And the headache resulted in my conclusion. That…“I will not eat it with a friend. I will not eat it ‘til no end! I will not eat it in a store. I will run right out the door! I will not eat a little bite. I will put up such a fight! You had better not punch my eye. I will never ever comply! I do not like sponge candy, ma’am. I do not like it, Sam–I–am!”
A true story. Well…except for that one part.
Originally written on April 6, 2008 (minor adjustments made)